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Coming home

So I went on my trip to NH back in January.  It was so good.  Some bittersweet, but really good.  And when I was done with my week there, I was excited to be back……wait for it……HOME!  I can’t believe that a trip back to the place I had been yearning for gave me closure.  It wasn’t what I was looking for, yet somehow, there it was.  It was like my neck was absolutely locked into looking at my past in NH and couldn’t process the here and now, and when I went back to NH, I got the key to unlock it.  I am still nostalgic, but not horribly sad.  And I am starting to make friends here.  God has shown me some people to hang out with and I thank Him for helping me feel at home here. 

Big news:  We bought new bedroom furniture.  Joe has had that same set for 7 moves and 22 years.  It was a part of NH, and I was not ready emotionally to let it go.  But it looked out of place in our room.  So after the new year, I started to look at new bedroom furniture.  And I found a set I loved.  Then we started to look for a home for our old set, and the eipiphany hit us.  Matthew is rapidly growing toward his predicted 6’4″ height, so why not give him the set.  He does not have a bedroom set, so it makes perfect sense.  It looks amazing in his bedroom!  I could not have picked a set that would have looked better.  And Matthew thinks it is the coolest thing ever!  We are all so happy about the new furniture.  And now I just need to decide on a new paint for our bedroom so I can buy the matching pretties.  Oh, and a King size mattress.  That too.  We are still on our Queen mattress on the king bed.  It looks a little funny with blankets and things stuffed in the space on the edge, but it works for now until we have the extra thousands a King size tempur pedic costs.

The new furniture, to me, was not just something new and pretty, but signified that I was ready to move on and truly move in.  We had company over, and Joe and I hung pictures.  It looks so nice to have some of our old and a new pictures up.  It took 9 months and the stress of having company over to hang up pictures.  But here I am, moving forward, in our new home.  Love it. 

Joe and I have been taking the dog for walks, and we were talking about how our new home is fancier than we are as people.  It is lovely, but it doesn’t reflect us.  We were not complaining, and we love it and think it is beautiful and very practical for all the space we have to use, but it is truly fancier than we are.  I also love that it is an investment in our future.  When we retire, downsize, and go to sell this place, it will line our nest egg nicely.  And it has room for ailing parents or adult children, should they ever need us to care for them.  So our home is ready, and lovely, and ours.  Finally ours.

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Going home

I am so excited. Tuesday is my travel day back to New Hampshire. I am flying through snowy Denver. The 7 plane travel hours plus 4 car travel hours plus 2 hours in the airport are not all that appealing at the moment, but I have my Ipad and lots of books on it. And I am keeping my eye on the prize, which is a coveted visit to my former home. I get to see many of my friends this trip. And the ones I don’t see this time I will catch on the flip side when I go back with the boys in the summer. I am joyfully packing and just can’t wait.

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A “Brand New Day”

So this is my first blog post, ever. A new post. A fresh start. A “Brand New Day”. I had to choose a thematic backround for my blog, and the one I chose is called “Brand New Day”. I loved everything about it. The colors, the happy sunshine(my name is Dawn), but especially the title. I need a brand new day, a new start, a new year. I am so glad to say goodbye to the tumultuous 2011.  I guess I need to give some background.  I feel a bit guilty because the hardship befallen me has nothing to do with anything real like getting cancer, losing a job, home, or loved one.  No, what has happened to me is: we moved.  Big whoop, right?  Happens every day.  Some people actually CHOOSE to move.  Can you imagine?  Not me.  Not ever (so I said).  Ha ha God said.  He has a good sense of humor.  I felt at home in New Hampshire like I had never felt before.  I have moved around a bit before I met my husband.  But after we married something changed and I craved the stability of somewhere to call home.  When I had my first son, that feeling intensified.  I made two of the best friends anyone could ask for in New Hampshire.  Most people are incredibly lucky to have one very best friend in their lifetime, let alone two.  And my boys went to one of the best schools I have ever had dealings with.  It was a small private Montessori based school, but it felt like a family.  It all added up to the word I am lacking now: Home.  They say home is where the heart is, and most times I feel like my boys and I left our hearts in New Hampshire.  I am slowly gathering the physical and mental pieces that I need here to make THIS place, this house, this life into home, but it is just not congealing as fast as any of us would like.

Everywhere I have ever moved, I’ve had adjustment issues.  Then months later I make friends and all seems better.  But the older I get, the longer it takes to adjust.  This was made worse here by many different factors, all of which seemed to be working against me being happy here.  But truly, this is by far the easiest place to love of all the places I have moved.  The weather here is sunny and lovely.  And the scenery here in AZ is stunning.  I have a beautiful house in a lovely neighborhood with very friendly neighbors.  There is a dog park and a major grocery store nearby.  Joe works only a couple miles from here.  Phoenix is a great place to visit.  We have skiing 2 hours away.  The Grand Canyon is 2 1/2 hours.  There are extensive hiking and outdoor recreation opportunities.  We have a new YMCA and a nice Health Food store.  My boys are in the best school district, and they are doing pretty well.  My dad survived cancer, and my mom and step dad have survived financial upheaval.  We have enough money and time to spend together.  So I am going to try and focus on all the positives, and really deal with or diminish the negatives to improve my 2012.

 I think that there are many opportunities here that we did not have in NH.  I can see that the future has much good on hold for us.  But it is just so hard to get over the last place and work to make those things happen.  I hope someday when I hear the word “home”, I quickly think of our current Arizona house and not immediately and with great sadness think of our little white farmhouse with the red barn in the great green field of grass.  Purging my thoughts into this blog is my first step at finding out how to do just that.  How do I get home again… 

“oh this is gonna be a good life, gonna be a good life, gonna be a good life, a good, good life.”

At Mt. Sunapee NH

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